Distant Memories
by Highland-Spring
Summary: Something happens to Pippin and the affects begin to take their toll upon him. Merry does everything he can to help, but Pippin is very frightened and distressed. (One of a Two part story, to be posted A.S.A.P)


Distant Memories.  
  
~ Set in the Shire, where Pippin is 19, Merry is 27 a few days before Merry's 28th Birthday.  
  
Pippin felt himself falling to the ground. He couldn't stop as he sunk down onto the soft earth beneath his feet and all he could establish was darkness. Something had hit his head hard, but he couldn't even see straight let alone think straight. He awoke with a jolt, darkness still surrounded him and, for a frightening moment, he thought he could be dead. Suddenly a familiar face came into view and he recognised it to be Merry.  
  
"Pippin! You're awake! Oh, we thought that maybe the worst had come-" Merry's voice trailed off.  
  
Pippin frowned and pulled himself up a little. Merry studied the Took's face for a long time before sitting down on the bed next to him.  
  
"Can you remember what happened?" Merry asked softly.  
  
Pippin shook his head slowly. By now Pearl, Paladin and Eglantine had all heard the commotion and wanted to see what was happening.  
  
"Oh my son!" Paladin cried happily.  
  
He reached over and took a hold of Pippin's hand tightly in his.  
  
"You've been out for almost two weeks. You didn't seem to be improving, but you're alive-you're alright." He paused. "Son, you are alright, aren't you?" Paladin asked, anxiously.  
  
Pippin bit his lower lip and then looked to his father. His green eyes were tearful, with much stress and upset.  
  
"I can't remember, Da." He said very softly.  
  
Pippin's face changed. He sat there, looking to his father with wide child- like eyes. His lip twitched slightly and his body language came across as very nervous and edgy.  
  
"But I do know that I've done something very, very wrong." Pippin stammered.  
  
***  
  
Two days had passed and Pippin was on the mend. He was walking around and getting on with his life as usual, but he still could not remember how he had been knocked out. He'd refused to tell his father of what he'd done until he could remember the facts clearly for himself, but Merry had a good enough notion as to what it could be.  
  
"Has this got anything to do with the fire at Hawthorn Farm?" Merry asked quite suddenly.  
  
Pippin turned to Merry, angry, almost at what seemed to be an accusation.  
  
"I did not set fire to Hawthorn Farm, Meriadoc. How dare you even think so." Pippin replied sharply.  
  
Merry frowned. He hadn't intended for it to come out that way-and hadn't much liked Pippin's reaction, either. Before he said anything else, Merry made sure to calm himself before he spoke. Pippin didn't mean it-he was frightened for the sudden loss of memory.  
  
"I never said you did, Pip. I'm just trying to help you remember." Merry replied softly.  
  
Pippin placed the mug of tea back down and turned to his friend. He shook his head slightly and nodded.  
  
"I know. I'm sorry. I just can't remember a thing about anything. I can remember things up until that, I can remember things after, but I can't remember anything to do with the fire. Merry, it's just blocked, it's just like a black mark and I'm so scared that I'll start forgetting other things. Merry, what if I start forgetting things and I forget who my mother or father is? Merry-I don't want to forget you-"  
  
Pippin's voice was high and shrill and he spoke more quickly as panic set in about the intensity of the situation. Merry couldn't bear to see his friend in such a state. He too placed his mug down and wrapped his arms around his distressed cousin.  
  
"Come on, Pip, come on now." He soothed.  
  
Pippin buried his face into the nape of Merry's neck and griped his shirt- back tightly. Merry hugged him tighter and whispered comfort to the Took in a bid to ease him. Pippin's sobs began to die out and his breathing slowed. He collected himself and gently pulled away.  
  
"Sorry," he said after a while.  
  
Merry shook his head and left his arm around Pippin.  
  
"Don't be. You've got to try Pippin. It's going to be difficult but you have to try. But the more upset you get about it the harder it'll be to remember. " Merry soothed.  
  
Pippin nodded, and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He knew he had to remember, but it was just so difficult.  
  
Later that evening, Pippin walked in on his mother preparing something in the kitchen. Whatever she was baking smelled very nice, and Pippin smiled at her as she pulled out a cake from the stove.  
  
"Why are you making a cake, Ma?" He asked.  
  
She looked at Pippin for a long time and he could not tell what she was thinking of. She had a very strange look upon her face and then she suddenly looked as though she might cry.  
  
"You don't remember, do you?" She asked.  
  
Pippin frowned and picked at some dry mint leaves that were scattered on the table.  
  
"Remember what? Ma, what are you talking about?" He asked slowly.  
  
Eglantine placed the knife down and walked to her son.  
  
"Pippin, Merry's twenty-eighth Birthday is tomorrow. You've been helping me prepare it for weeks, now." She said.  
  
Pippin felt his heart sink. He stood there for a few moments, stunned into complete silence. It was alright to forget a distant cousin's Birthday every so often. It was even alright to forget you're your not-so-close friend's Birthday's every now an then-so long as you backed it up with a "sorry its late" greeting. But to forget your very best, life-long friend's Birthday was not acceptable and Pippin was in a state of shock to even have let it slip his mind.  
  
"No, I can't have forgotten, Ma. I would never forget Merry. How could I?" He whimpered.  
  
Eglantine gave out a sympathetic sigh and went to bring him into a comforting hug. This wasn't good enough and Pippin pulled away from her. She was shocked by his action almost, but caught the expression on his face as he darted off away from her and out the backdoor. He was angry with himself for forgetting his best friend's Birthday and there was nothing she could do to erase that from him.  
  
*** It was getting later and still Pippin had not returned home. Eglantine had worried so much and she and Paladin had been searching for hours. They didn't particularly want to get Merry involved, as they knew his parents would be preparing him for his Birthday with early gifts and celebrations, but they knew he would be the only link to finding and helping their son.  
  
"We're really sorry, Merry. We really are." Paladin said.  
  
Merry shook his head and gave both his Aunt and Uncle a broad smile.  
  
"Believe me I would rather have Pippin home safe and sound than have my Birthday without him. Why did he run away?" Merry asked.  
  
Eglantine gave a little cry and then looked to Merry quickly.  
  
"He forgot your Birthday." Eglantine replied.  
  
Merry frowned and bit his lip. Pippin had forgotten? The lad had been so excited for weeks about his cousin's Birthday. He'd helped with numerous preparations and had joked and teased Merry with presents and gifts and celebrations and other things that Merry wasn't really supposed to know about.  
  
"Alright, well don't you worry, I'll see what I can do." He replied confidently.  
  
***  
  
Merry knew where Pippin would be. Pippin always went to a certain place when he was either upset, angry, feeling lost or just wanted to be alone. It was a small cove just away from the river that cut through Tookland. Pippin used to hideout there when he was younger and was never to old to hide away. Merry drew to it and inside saw a small light brightening the darkness.  
  
"Pippin?" Merry called softly.  
  
Merry strained to see, but could make out that at the far end of the cove, there was a small Pippin-shaped ball all curled up at the end.  
  
"Pippin, come home." Merry whispered, edging inwards.  
  
"Just go away," Pippin sobbed.  
  
His voice was compressed, though he sounded very much like he did when he was younger and sulking because of not getting his way or being scolded for something he did not consider he was to blame for, and Merry hated that voice. It hurt him to hear Pippin sounding so upset.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere until you come with me." Merry said.  
  
Pippin remained curled up and did not move.  
  
"Then you'll be waiting a long time. I'm never going home. I'm never leaving here. I just want the ground to swallow me up and take me away and to be forgotten about. I don't deserve to be remembered." Pippin replied ever so quietly.  
  
Merry edged further in and was careful not to upset Pippin anymore. He wasn't going to force him, but he wasn't going to leave him, either.  
  
"Pippin, please. Don't talk like that. I don't like it when you speak like that." Merry said, slowly sitting next to him.  
  
Pippin moved a little and sniffled and snuffled until Merry could bare it no longer. He pulled Pippin's shoulder and the Took let Merry collect him into his arms and hold him very tightly. Pippin could do nothing but cry. He didn't want to-he felt stupid crying, but he couldn't think of doing anything else. He felt bad about crying to Merry when it was only a few hours away from being his Birthday, but he already felt bad about forgetting his Birthday.  
  
"You have had something happen to you, which is bound to cause this." Merry began.  
  
Pippin's sobs had still not ceased and Merry kept a firm hold of him and continued speaking gently:  
  
"You were knocked out, Pippin. You didn't wake up for nearly two weeks-of course you won't be able to think straight. I'm not mad at you forgetting my Birthday-I'm not upset either. Pippin, you're still recovering. It'll take a while before your mind goes back to being what it was, but don't do this to yourself as well-you don't need the extra worry-"  
  
Pippin suddenly looked up to Merry.  
  
"Bucket." He said suddenly.  
  
Merry frowned as Pippin sat up straight and wiped his eyes.  
  
"I was hit on the head with a bucket. Merry-I remember what hit me. I was down by the orchard and I was handing Farmer Emery some blackberries for the apples he gave us. I'm sure Ma sent me because she was too busy making fairy-cakes and things for your Birthday. I remember hearing someone shout out and then I just remember something hitting the back of my head and then just falling down." Pippin looked to Merry.  
  
Merry nodded and kept a hold of him. He nodded again and leaned forward.  
  
"Yes? And then what? Who did it-come on Pippin, you've remembered this much, you have to remember who did it. Who bought you home? Come on Pippin!" Merry urged.  
  
Pippin frowned and sat up straight. He pursed his lips together and looked as though was pouting somewhat, but he concentrated very hard and tried desperately to piece everything together.  
  
"I remember Trefoil was there. I know he was there, but he wouldn't have thrown a bucket at me. He was there to impress Pearl, and he told me he likes me so he wouldn't want to hurt me. Merry, I can't remember. It's too hard. I can see a face, I can hear his voice but I can't make out who it is- its too blurry. I can't, Merry-I just can't!"  
  
Pippin's voice was tainted with fright again and Merry brought him in again.  
  
"Shh, it's alright, Pippin. Everything's alright. Listen, would it help if we went to the place where it happened? Maybe it could trigger some other memories if we went there?" Merry suggested.  
  
Pippin looked up to Merry again and half-nodded.  
  
"If you think that maybe it'll help." Came the tiny reply.  
  
***  
  
~ Part two is being processed! I promise! Please review and let me know what you all think so far. I've never written anything like this before, so it's a challenge for me to, but I hope you're enjoying it all the same. Thanks.  
  
Highland-spring. 


End file.
